Food for thought: Thanksgiving--If you're going to do it, do it right!

I go to the grocery store just for fun. I poke plums, compare unit prices and try samples. The grocery store is also great for people watching, namely the wild-eyed people preparing their first or most important Thanksgiving meal.

So, if you are one of those people, let me shake some sense into you. Read these tips, and plan your victory in the kitchen. I usually give recipes, but you may have already clipped, borrowed or Googled recipes. What have you planned?

1. Now is not the time to experiment.
I'm talking to people who have not made a certain recipe before and want to get all Julia Child when dinner's ready in 0400 hours. What if someone has a food allergy? Find a different recipe. If it's an omnivore to herbivore thing, definitely find a different recipe. Last resort, buy something like egg replacer. Food is chemistry, and sometimes ingredients are there for taste and chemistry function. Click on the "Food for thought" title to get a list of substitutions. I also incuded the list at the bottom. By the way, it's 1/4 tsp. baking soda and an acid agent like lemon juice or buttermilk for 1 tsp. baking powder.

2. Observe times and measurements. Again, now's not the time to play. There are about 360 other days when you can do that. If you know your oven is a little cold or hot, try to check often WITHOUT OPENING THE OVEN. That will slow things down. No light? Flashlight! And set a timer. Every 30 minutes after a few hours for big meats; after the first 20 minutes for baked goods except for cookies--or the first sign of smoke? On the other hand, avoid doing tasks like gossiping in another room, or showering when you can't rush back to fix a slight burning smell.

3. If something burns: if it is meat, look at the layer underneath. You may have to do some peeling. If it is just the top layer, try rinsing to get all the burnt liquid off. Another technique (I just did this last week) is to add a layer of dressing or marinade and blackened spices. Keep blackening spices around, and make lemonade out of those lemons.

4. Use nonstick pans when possible for starches like rice, beans, potatoes and stuffing. This will greatly reduce a bad burn. Plus, be extra vigilant, since it is hard to remove the burnt taste from these items. If you are a meat eater, have some smoked meat on hand to help disguise this-think bacos or bacon bits.

5. For burnt breads, try using a microplane, a zester, or a serrated knife to rescue burnt items. A burnt chocolate cake? I boldly called it mocha and nobody knew. I was told it was the best mocha cake they'd had.

6. Plan your meal by working backwards. Look at the time all the recipes take, which ones can be made ahead, and which ones you can do some steps for early and some steps for later. Plus, plan ahead for a life line: is there someone you can call to go to the store for you? Is there a 24-hour store, like some Shoppers or a Harris Teeter, or even a CVS, where you can go at midnight and stock up? And in terms of life lines, try to line up a couple people who have an attention span to stir while you shower, give directions and taste food for flavor balance.

7. Try not to accidentally kill people. If you are trying to do harm, that's on you. But the last thing you want is a nickname like "Shrimp salad Sally", and everyone starts simulating puking when you walk by. Wash vegetables with one part vinegar (1/4 cup) and 3 parts water (3/4 cup). This will take the waxes, bacteria and pesticides off. Rinse well to get vinegar taste out. Keep cold foods cold--40 degrees or under, and keep hot foods hot--over 135. If you are traveling over two hours--include the time it's sitting on the table without being reheated or cooled, make plans to bring a cooler or insulated bags. Even wrapping things in foil first can help. Please avoid doing the slick "I'll cook the turkey halfway at home, then cook it for two more hours at Mom's. Uh-uh. All or nothing. Juices should run clear for meats, poultry and fish. Only microwaving meats--bad for taste and not a guarantee things are cooked. Unless your family is comprised of Swiss watchmakers, they should be OK with things running a little late. Think of it as saving lives.

8. When making vegetarian meals, do it the way nature intended
These days, people seem to eat fewer things than ever, due to a variety of reasons. Avoid suspending belief when making food. "It tastes just like such-and-such" is a clear giveaway that the recipe should be reconsidered. Avoid buying everything that tastes like chicken, beef, sausage, tuna, cheese, and turkey. Perhaps that is not most pleasing to your guest (or even to you!) Try looking at Mediterranean-Greek and Italian- or Asian-Indian cuisine that doesn't rely on meat. Take stuffing. Try using chestnuts, mushrooms or nuts instead of meat. If you have an insufferably picky person, or someone you just don't know well of legendary finickiness, try to make that person's favorite dish. It sure beats trying to find just the right thing. If it's a hamburger, so what. Use the time you've saved trying to figure someone out by sleeping!

9. Use flavorful ingredients and methods
Fresh basil
fresh sage
fresh flat-leaf parsley
Fresh rosemary

Unsalted butter
Nut oils
Olive oil
Nut butter
Tahini

Real Parmigiano-Reggiano-nothing in a can.

Roast vegetables whenever possible. Use fresh green beans, unless you are trying to cook them until they are grey. If you hate cutting onions and are going to cook them, buy frozen. Avoid skimping on them.

Meats that aren't "enhanced", then frozen. Pork chops especially come out drier. If you are going to freeze, then make, use "natural".

Brine meats (with the exception of kosher meats, which are already brined). Soak meat for 6-8 hours in a water-salt-spice solution for maximum flavor. Just look this up, and you will find plenty of into. I'd say 6 tablespoons salt/gallon water. Kosher salt is best.

Cook your ham in an oven bag. Remove when it's 10 minutes away from being done. Make your own glaze with preserves heated until they're liquid-cherry, peach, pineapple or apple butter-- and combine pan drippings. Cook for 20 minutes.

Separate the skin from the meat in poultry. Put your hand in either side of the breast while leaving the middle intact. put herb butter or trans-fat-free margarine in the space between skin and meat; move hand around to distribute. For crisp skin, cook at 450 degrees for fifteen minutes AT THE BEGINNING. Then, turn heat down to regular levels.

Make your own salad dressings ahead of time, if possible.

Green bean casserole
Make your own mushroom sauce instead of cream of mushroom soup. Cook mushrooms for 20 minutes with a little salt, or until the mushrooms are dry. Over low heat, add cream cheese-Neufchatel is good for those cutting fat corners. Buy 8 oz; use half and adjust to desired creaminess. Add 1/2 MSG-free bouillon cube and slowly add water. Add a few French fried onions to provide thickening. Add pepper and thyme to taste, and cook 5 more minutes on very low heat.

10. If there are people who have many different preferences like artery busters next to twig eaters, make a dessert and toppings bar where people can help themselves. Have cut fresh fruit, pies, nuts, honey, granola, chocolate sauce, ice cream, and cakes.

Enjoy and make sure someone else cleans up! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

FOOD SUBSTITUTIONS

• 1 teaspoon baking powder = ¼ teaspoon baking soda plus ½ cup buttermilk or ¼ teaspoon baking soda plus 5/8 teaspoon cream of tartar

• 1 cup sifted cake flour = 7/8 cup sifted all-purpose flour or 1 cup all-purpose flour minus 1-2 tablespoons

• 1 cup self-rising flour = 1 cup sifted all-purpose flour plus 1½ teaspoons baking powder and ½ teaspoon salt

• 1 cup all-purpose flour = 1 cup whole wheat flour

• 1 cup honey = 1 to 1¼ cups sugar plus ¼ cup liquid

• 2 large eggs = 3 small eggs

• 1 medium egg = 2 egg yolks plus 1 tablespoon water (for baking)

• 1 medium egg = 2 egg yolks (in custards or cream fillings)

• 1 ounce unsweetened chocolate = 1 square or 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder plus 1 tablespoon butter or margarine

• 6 squares or 6 ounces semisweet chocolate, melted = 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips, melted

• 1 tablespoon cornstarch (as thickening) = 2 tablespoons flour or 2 teaspoons quick tapioca or 2 egg yolks

• 1 teaspoon lemon juice = ½ teaspoon vinegar

• 1 tablespoon fresh herbs = ½ to 1 teaspoon dried herbs

• 1 small garlic clove = 1/8 teaspoon garlic powder

• 1 pound fresh mushrooms = 3 ounces dried or 6 ounces canned

• 1 cup whipping cream, whipped = 2 cups thawed whipped topping

• 1 cup whipping cream as liquid = 1/3 cup melted butter plus ¾ cup milk

• 1 cup light cream = 3 tablespoons melted butter plus ¾ cup milk

• 1 cup ricotta cheese = 1 cup cottage cheese, liquid drained

• 1 cup buttermilk = 1 cup plain yogurt, stirred, or 1 tablespoon lemon juice stirred into milk to make 1 cup; let stand 5 minutes to make soured milk for baking only (never use sour milk that's been in the fridge too long; it's actually spoiled)

• 1 cup whole milk = 2 teaspoons melted butter plus 1 cup fat-free milk (or water) or equal parts evaporated milk and water or 1 cup nonfat dry milk plus 2 teaspoons melted butter

• 1 cup sour cream = 3 tablespoons melted butter stirred into 7/8 cup buttermilk, soured milk or plain yogurt

• 1 cup sour cream = 1 cup plain yogurt (but it will taste less rich from the missing fat)

• Pecans = walnuts, almonds or hazelnuts

• Chunky peanut butter = creamy peanut butter (or grind roasted peanuts in a blender with a little peanut oil)

• 1 cup bread crumbs = ¾ cup cracker crumbs

• 1 cup butter = 1 cup margarine or 7/8 cup vegetable oil or 7/8 cup butter-flavored shortening

• 1 pound lard = 2 cups shortening

• 1 cup sugar (in baking bread) = 1 cup honey plus a pinch of baking soda

• 1 cup sugar (in baking) = 7/8 cup honey plus a pinch of baking soda

• 1 cup sugar (in main dishes) = ¾ cup honey

• 1 cup brown sugar = 1 cup white sugar plus 2 tablespoons molasses

• 1 cup molasses (in baking) = 1 cup sugar (omit baking soda; use baking powder)

• ½ cup dry red wine or white wine = 2 tablespoons sherry or port

• ¾ cup maple syrup = ¾ cup maple-flavored syrup, corn syrup or 1 cup sugar and increase liquid in recipe by 3 tablespoons

• 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice = ¼ teaspoon nutmeg, ¼ teaspoon ginger, ½ teaspoon cinnamon

• 1 pound tomatoes = 3 medium or ¾ cup sauce (6 ounces) or ¼ cup paste (2 ounces)

• 8 ounces tomato sauce = 2/3 cup water plus 1/3 cup tomato paste

• 3 cups tomato juice = 2½ cups water plus 6 ounces tomato paste plus ¾ teaspoon salt, dash of sugar

• 1 large marshmallow = 10 mini (dust off cornstarch from their surfaces or it might overload a recipe)

• 1 cup granulated sugar = 1¾ cups powdered sugar for uses other than baking

• ¼ teaspoon powdered ginger = 1 teaspoon chopped fresh or 2 teaspoon minced crystallized

• 1 head fresh dill = 2 teaspoons dill seed

• 1 tablespoon grated fresh horseradish = 2 tablespoons bottled

• 1 teaspoon lemon juice = ½ teaspoon vinegar

• 1 teaspoon dry mustard = 1 tablespoon prepared mustard or ½ teaspoon mustard seeds

• 1 /4 cup rum = 1 teaspoon rum extract plus liquid to make ¼ cup

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract = 1 inch vanilla bean, split and simmered in liquid of recipe

• 1 cup wine = 13 tablespoons water, 3 tablespoons lemon juice and 1 tablespoon sugar or a little less than 1 cup apple juice plus lemon juice

• 1 cup dry bread crumbs = 3 to 4 slices bread, torn and processed

• 1 cup sweetened condensed milk = 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons dry milk powder plus ½ cup warm water plus ¾ cup sugar and dissolve

• ½ teaspoon cream of tartar = 1½ teaspoons lemon juice or vinegar

• 1 tablespoon maple sugar = 1 tablespoon granulated sugar plus a dash of maple extract